Letters
by Annic
Summary: They are the only things that keeps him connected to Danny while he is deployed. Pre-series
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: Sadly, I do not own the show. I just like to write.

A/N: This is my first Blue Bloods story. But hopefully will not be last. I have been inspired to write this because of all the great stories that I have read here. I am not sure if this is going to be a one shot or not. Feel free to shoot me some ideas for another chapter. Please review :)

It had rips, tears, and folds. Even though it is just a sheet of paper with words on them, those words mean the world to him. For those words are the only correspondence that he has had with his oldest brother. He hasn't told anyone but he looks up to Danny. Yes, Joe is his best friend and brother. Erin is his older sister that he would do anything to protect. But he looks up to his Marine brother who is fighting for his country.

He doesn't care that his family knows that he has kept every letter because he is sure that rest of them have done the same thing.

He knows that each letter is different depending on the recipient. His letters all have the same theme. He is told to watch out for his family. To do well in school (even though his mind isn't on his studies). To stay out of trouble. And last but no least that Danny loves him and that he will come home as soon as he can.

Until Danny comes home Jamie is going to keep these letters for it is the one thing that reminds him that his oldest brother, his role model, his hero is okay and coming home.


	2. Chapter 2

Here is another chapter for you guys. I am not entirely happy about this chapter. By the weekend there should be another chapter. I am debating what it is going to contain. Give me some ideas. Review please :)

Disclaimer: I don't own the show. If I did we would see more brotherly moments.

For almost six months the letters came at a somewhat regular pace. They always came every two to three weeks. They always lifted his sprits knowing that his brother was still fighting for what he believed in. He just wished that one day there would be letter waiting for him saying that Danny would be coming home. He, however, also dreaded arriving at home and seeing officers informing his parents and siblings that Danny wouldn't be coming home. He knew his family could not handle losing such a loud, crazy, caring, important part of their family.

He knew he couldn't think like that. Jamie had to continue to believe that his brother would be coming home.

As the letters continued, Jamie felt it was his job to keep his brother up to date with the everyday events that other members in his family would censor. He felt he needed to tell his brother everything that he could tell. Each letter always ended the same. _Stay safe and come home soon. _And to him the last line was always _Stay out of trouble. Take care of the family until I get home. And don't forget I love ya kid._

_Jamie,_

_It seems as though the days never seem to end, the day is on a never-ending loop. The temperature change doesn't differ much and it feels like I am constantly brushing sand off of my clothes. I didn't realize until I arrived in Iraq, just how much I miss the city. With its constant sirens and noise there is never a dull moment. Here, if there isn't silence there is yelling or people constantly asking questions. Then there are the gunshots that make me wish I was back in New York fighting with Erin, Joe or you over dinner about the dumbest things. Tell Mom and Dad I love them. But enough about what is going on here._

_How is school going for you? Hopefully you are keeping up the good grades, don't forget mom wants you to go to Law School like Erin. But don't forget to have fun. These schools years are some the best, until you go to college that is. I hear that's where all the fun happens. Basketball goin' ok? As long as you beat the school that will not be named then the season was a success. Good luck!_

_My CO is yelling at me to move. I have the next watch, I need to get my ass in gear. Stay out of trouble. Take care of the family until I get home. And don't forget I love ya kid. _

_Danny_


	3. Chapter 3

**Author's Note: I meant to have this posted last weekend but the past week has been beyond hectic and I have had horrible writer's block. However you are in for a treat you will get a double shot. I have another chapter in the works that will either be posted tomorrow or tonight. These next two chapters were Andorian Ice Princess's idea. Thanks! Please review and feel free to send me some ideas. I may just use them :)**

**Disclaimer: Still don't own them. If I did there would be more brotherly moments and angst. :)**

Jamie always tries to write a letter back to his brother within a week of getting one. Even though he doesn't censor the events of what is happening with his family and city that they call home. The city they all love. However after the last letter that Danny sent him, Jamie found himself writing a letter that showed just how scared he and his family were that their son, brother, and husband would not come home. Jamie found himself writing everything he was feeling down. He didn't realize until he sent it that the letter would more than likely upset his brother.

_Danny,_

_I try to tell myself, and I think the rest of the family is doing the same, that things aren't as bad as we have heard. That the news reports are just making up all of the statistics, the horrible events and the conditions that you are living in. _

_I also keep telling myself that you and Linda are on an extended vacation. However that goes right out the window when I see her walk through the door without you. I can see how worried she is that you won't come home. We all are, we are all worried that you won't be home in one piece. I understand why you decided to enlist, I get it but I miss you. I really didn't want to dump this all on you in this letter but I miss you. Mom and Dad, Joe, Erin and most of all Linda miss you. We all keep hoping that you are going to be sitting in the dining room when we come home from school, work or mass. Sunday dinners aren't the same without you picking on me, Erin or Joe. _

_I keep finding it hard to keep my focus on my grades with you gone and other things going on. I am not letting them slip I promise, I know if I did I would not be able to look Mom or you in the eye. For Mom expects the best from me regardless, but I cannot let you down, you keep telling me to do well because we all know you were never the best student. It is like you both expect me to be perfect. Something I cannot physically do but I am trying my best. I have been trying my best to stay out of trouble, I think that if I didn't Dad and Joe would never stop screaming at me. I haven't had much playing time because I sprained my ankle pretty badly a couple of games back and haven't been cleared to play yet. It is still pretty sore and I am pretty sure I will be out for a couple of more games. _

_I am so sorry for this letter Danny but this has all become so hard on the family. I don't want to let you down and I am trying my best not to. Don't forget I love ya Danny. Stay safe and please come home soon._

_Jamie_

****BB****

As Danny read the letter, he felt tears come to his eyes. He couldn't believe that he was reason his baby brother was in so much pain. When he had decided to enlist, the conversation was between Linda and him. He didn't include any of his family on the decision. Linda wasn't happy about the idea, but she knew she couldn't talk him out it. This was something he felt he had to do after seeing what his family and his city went through on September 11th. Now he was on his second tour of the same desolate desert in a country that despised Americans. He hoped a prayed that he would make it home so he could take his siblings in his arms and let them know he was back to protect them. He thought of his wonderful wife and how he longed to see her and have a family with her. And lastly of his mom and dad, letting them know that their family was still whole.

Looking back at the decision he knew his family should have been included in the discussion. He made a silent prayer that his brother and family were ok besides what was in the letter. They were all he thought about when he was out on patrol. Once he was finished with the letter, he finally let his emotions free and sobbed before he was sent on his next shift. He needed to get home to his family.

The next thing Danny knew there was a loud blast and his world went black, his last thought of his family.


	4. Chapter 4

**I was going to post this last night but I finished the chapter at midnight and needed to sleep. But here is the promised other chapter. Please Review. They keep my muses going :)**

**Disclaimer: Do I own them yet? No?! Dang!**

As Danny woke up, he could hear a constant ringing and loud shouting that he could not understand. However all of that was overwhelmed by the pain he was feeling all over his body. He didn't understand why no one was helping him. The next thing he knew tape was placed back on his mouth and a bag placed over his head.

As the days and weeks went by they all seemed to run together, he wasn't sure which way was up or down or if it was day or night. As the days went on he lost hope he would ever see his family again.

Questions ran through his head: How would his family deal? Who would take it the hardest? Would Linda be ok and accepted by the family still? How would his siblings react?

_I'm so sorry Jamie. _

****BB****

Jamie was starting to get worried. He hadn't heard from Danny in over a month. His letters were usually every two to three weeks. His mother kept telling him to not worry. That Danny was probably ok and just too busy to write or call. However he could tell his mom was worried. That everyone had become worried that they hadn't heard from their son, brother or husband in over a month. Jamie keeps telling himself that his letter was just lost that his hero was still out there somewhere protecting what they called freedom. He however just wanted to know where his brother was.

As he rounded the corner to his house, he began to think of his school day. He found out he was out for the season because of his ankle. That included the playoffs. It was what he had wanted to hear. On top of all that he found out that most of his A's had slowly started to turn into C's. He wasn't sure how he was going to tell his mom.

However, he stopped in his tracks as he saw two men dressed in military uniform get out of a sedan parked in front of his house. He knew what those men were there for. It was news that no one in their family wanted to hear. He wasn't sure if he should run to the house or run away. If he ran away he could still pretend his brother was coming home. But he knew that his mom would need someone there when she hears something had happened to her son. His feet felt like they had turned to concrete and he couldn't get his feet to move forward.

He began to walk ever so slowly to his house. Knowing that his family life would change forever when he walks through that door scared him to the bone. As soon as he walked into the living room he heard soft murmurs of the two Marines comforting his mom.

"Mom?" he asked in whisper.

As his mom turned to him she saw that her face was white and tears streamed down her face.

"Jamie…it's your brother. Danny…he's…he's MIA. Your brother is missing in action."

And with that he broke down.

****BB****

Danny wasn't sure how long he had been in this jail. He knew that his captors had treated his initial injuries however for every injury that they fixed they caused three or four more. He tried to keep his hopes up that he would go home. He heard mumbling in some foreign language he didn't have tolerance or time to try and interpret. He did know that his captors were angry and impatient. He also knew that did not bode well for him.

As the day, week or was it month wore on, he started to feel like he was not going to be able comfort his family and tell them it would be ok. He knew that everyone in his family would be able to cope with whatever happened to him. It was Jamie he was worried most about especially after the last letter. He worried that his baby brother would shut down and cut everyone off and slowly draw himself away from everything. He couldn't have that he had to make it home for Jamie and the rest of the family.

He felt that something was up when his captors stormed into the room and started to torture him even worse than before. They wanted information he couldn't and wouldn't give. It was also information that didn't know.

As the pain escalated he hoped that someone would find him before it was too late. He realized that he must have passed out because he wakes to someone in fatigues screaming his name , to get him to wake up.

"REAGAN! Wake up Marine! Now is not the time to sleep."

As he tried to open his eyes, he realized that one of them is swollen shut and can barely open the other. Before he passes out again he whispered, "Tell my family I'm ok. And tell Jamie that I am coming home and I tried my best."

****BB****

In the three months Danny had been missing, Jamie barely spoke to anyone. He would only talk when spoken to. His grades steadily stayed the same for the only normalcy he had right now was school. He refused to practice. When he arrived home he would retreat to his room, secluded from the family he felt he had let down. He couldn't bring himself to look at the family pictures that decorated the den, stairway, living room and other various rooms of the house. He refused to talk to anyone in the house. He would eat dinner but not communicate and banter with his older brother and sister. He refused to look Linda in the eye. He didn't know what to say to her. His family worried that if Danny wasn't found soon Jamie would never be the same. Instead of missing one son they were missing two.

When Jamie was in school, he threw himself into his studies, for it felt as if those were things he any semblance of control over. It was the only thing that he could still use to make Danny proud, wherever he may be.

When he was called to the office that day he cataloged everything that he done and if anything warranted being sent to the principal's office. He couldn't come up with anything. He did what was asked and when it was asked of him.

As he walked in the door of the office, he saw the imposing figure of his father. His dad was unshakeable; he hadn't seen him cry until the news of Danny being MIA came. Now to walk in the office and see his slumped shoulders, Jamie felt tears build up and shakily asked "Dad, what's wrong?"

As his father turned around he could see tears streak down his face. Jamie knew what to expect. It was then he felt the tears fall, as much as he tried to stop them he couldn't.

"Jamie….they found Danny. He's alive. He's coming home."

At that both father and son sobbed in each other's arms. But this time the tears were that of happiness.


	5. Chapter 5

**I want to thank you guys for all the support on this story. Since this was my first story I have written in over a year and my first every Blue Bloods story, the response was amazing. This started out as a simple little one shot and evolved into this. Thank you so much. I have a few more stories up my sleeve for our favorite police family. Enjoy the last chapter. :)**

**Disclaimer: Still do not own them. Darn.**

****BB****

As Jamie was driven home, he knew that the news could have been much different. He wondered if Joe and Erin had heard yet. They had handled Danny's disappearance a little bit better than Jamie. Erin had to wear a brave face for Nicky, but he could tell she was worried she would never see her older brother again. Joe felt that with Danny away he had to make sure that the family was doing alright. It was as if each child had their own job, a job that would keep the family together. They wouldn't have to do it much longer, for their brother was coming home. It finally hit Jamie full force when the car pulled into the driveway, he felt the weight lifted off his shoulders and started to sob.

"Jamie?!" Frank asked quietly. "What's wrong?"

"What if they made a mistake? What if they really didn't find Danny and he is still missing? What if they are wrong? What if Danny isn't coming home?" Jamie asked in rapid fire fashion. However Frank could tell that it was that he was scared of the mistaken identity - -he was afraid for his brother.

"It is Danny. He is coming home it may still be a while. He needs to recover from the injuries first but trust me, it is you brother and he is coming home."

As Frank held his son in a comforting embrace, he offered up a silent prayer that his oldest was relatively fine and coming home.

****BB****

2 Months later

For the Reagan family the last five months had been some of the hardest they had been through. First Danny was captured and labeled missing in action for almost 3 months. Then came the long two months before their son, brother, and husband was deemed fit to fly home. They had all had a chance to talk to Danny on the phone. It made it all seem real. However Jamie kind of refused to talk to Danny on the phone too much. He didn't want to get his hopes up for he knew his brother would still be hurting when he came home.

As the time grew nearer the house became a little bit less populated. Frank, Mary and Linda all went to the airport to meet Danny. Joe, Erin and Jamie all stayed behind to comfort each other and finish the decorating. The silence between the three of them was almost deafening until the hum of a car outside was heard.

"They're home!" Joe exclaimed.

They all ran to the door to see their older brother gingerly step out of the car. As Erin and Joe rushed Danny, Jamie glanced at the three remaining family member gathered around the car. He could tell they had all had their crying moments. As he stepped off the porch he started to take in his brother's appearance. His face had colors of lingering bruises that looked painful, his right arm was still in a sling even after being in a military hospital for two months and his left leg in a cast. It made it all too real for Jamie. As he got closer his eyes started to tear up. He knew that there were tears running down his face while he waited to talk to his brother.

"Don't worry Jamie, I'm not going to break," Danny joked, hoping to break his baby brother out of his zoned out state.

That one sentence broke through Jamie's resolve and he let the tears fall without abandon. When he finally reached his brother, he felt Danny embrace him in strong bear hug. Jamie's sobs started to lessen as he finally allowed himself to step away from his brother.

"I'm so glad you are home," Jamie whispered.

"Me too, Jamie, me too," Danny quietly replied.

The night wore on, dinner was eaten, stories were shared and the family whole again. The Reagans could finally breathe again.

As everyone started to head home, Jamie made his way up to his room and noticed a piece of what paper sitting on his pillow.

_Jamie,_

_Thank you for the reality check. I didn't realize until I was over there just how lucky I was to have such an amazing family. What was able to get me through those cruel months was the idea that I would get to see all of you again. However I knew I had to come home and see you. The entire family means the world to me, but you are my baby brother and I hate knowing that I caused you pain. Yes everyone in the family has received a letter, you know me too well. Good job on keeping the family together._

_I want you to know one thing kid, no matter what you choose to do in life, whether it be lawyer (like Erin), NYPD (like Joe, Dad, Grandpa and I) or something else I will always be proud of you. Proud of the person you have become and proud that you are my kid brother. And lastly don't forget I love ya kid._

_Danny_

All that Jamie could reply with was a text message,

_Danny,_

_Thank you._

_Jamie_


End file.
